Take Me Home

I have been thinking of home lately. In home I mean Kansas. i have a weird relationship with my home state. When I am away for it for a while, i start to miss it. When I am there too long I want out. It's a love/hate thing. I think that the hate part comes from growing up in a small town as a gay kid with no one really to look up too. I do have a gay uncle but never had the balls as a teen to talk with him about my feelings. As an adult I have returned and left Kansas 3 separate times each time vowing to never come back to live. After living in a few big cities I start to miss the country feel of home. All my family is in either Kansas, Oklahoma, or Iowa. I feel I am missing out on the lives of my nieces and nephews. I have not seen my aunts uncles cousins or Grandparents in over 10 years. I do speak to a few cousins on line and they keep my informed of the family on goings. I just miss having family around. It be nice to have that again. I do believe if my plight here in Phoenix doesn't improve returning to Kansas my come into play. I know my family would be glad to have me back but will I?